The Benefits of Boundaries
Recently I was having a discussion with some of the college
girls in my summer small group about how Loudoun County Public Schools – and
life in general – have changed since I was in high school. I told them about how the grading scale was
stricter when I was in school – shifting from a 6 – 7 point scale after my
freshman year (meaning an A was a 93 or 94 and above) to the ten point scale
they have now. I explained that we never
had opportunities to retake quizzes or tests and that we used to have midterm
and final exams. I shared with them how
there was no such thing as Dual Enrollment classes and how many fewer options
we had of AP courses.
And with all of these changes, you would think that students
now would feel less pressure than my peers and I felt in the early 2000s. But really, I think it’s just the opposite. In my years teaching math and now as an FCA
Area Representative, it seems that just about every time I talk to students,
they’re overwhelmed and stressed out. It
seems that all of these components – a more lenient grading scale, retakes, the
elimination of many high stakes tests, and more options for upper level courses
– have combined to make students feel that not only should they be taking ALL
of the challenging classes offered, but they should also be achieving straight
A’s while they’re at it. Those making
these policy decisions seem to think they’re helping students by taking some of
the pressure off. But in reality,
students no longer know what’s “good enough.”
No wonder we have teens and college students numbing out on
hours of Netflix, social media, and other more harmful activities every day –
it’s an escape! They no longer feel the
pressure to have perfect grades, extracurricular activities, AND a perfect
Instagram feed if they’re deep into watching a third hour of The Office or
getting high with their friends.
I’m not a parent, but I did spend eight years in the
classroom, four of those coaching soccer as well. In my experience, students appreciate clear
boundaries because they know exactly what’s expected of them. To be sure, any time I gave an assignment,
even with clear expectations set, I would get complaints. Such is the fate of a math teacher. But if, for whatever reason, the students
were unsure what I was asking of them, the number of complaints I received
skyrocketed! If you try to remove
boundaries for the sake of taking pressure off of them, the opposite actually
happens – the girl that earned a 95 on her math test is wondering if she should
take advantage of the retake option so she can try to earn a 100%; the boy who
plays two sports and is the president of National Honor Society is wondering if
he should add that sixth AP/Dual Enrollment class to his senior schedule, merely
because the option is there.
I remember hearing once about a study that was done where
children and their caregivers were taken to two different fields – one with a
clear fence line and one without. When
the kids were allowed to go roam and explore, they actually wandered farther
away from their caregivers in the field with
the fence line than the one without.
Boundaries aren’t there just to squash our fun; they help us to feel
safe. I think the same is true for the guidelines
given to us in Scripture. Over and over
in Psalm 119, the author praises God for the rules He gives us, saying in verse 165, “Great
peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.” God isn’t just on a power trip. He loves us and wants us to truly flourish by
living within the boundaries He has set.
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