The Benefits of Boundaries

Recently I was having a discussion with some of the college girls in my summer small group about how Loudoun County Public Schools – and life in general – have changed since I was in high school.  I told them about how the grading scale was stricter when I was in school – shifting from a 6 – 7 point scale after my freshman year (meaning an A was a 93 or 94 and above) to the ten point scale they have now.  I explained that we never had opportunities to retake quizzes or tests and that we used to have midterm and final exams.  I shared with them how there was no such thing as Dual Enrollment classes and how many fewer options we had of AP courses.

And with all of these changes, you would think that students now would feel less pressure than my peers and I felt in the early 2000s.  But really, I think it’s just the opposite.  In my years teaching math and now as an FCA Area Representative, it seems that just about every time I talk to students, they’re overwhelmed and stressed out.  It seems that all of these components – a more lenient grading scale, retakes, the elimination of many high stakes tests, and more options for upper level courses – have combined to make students feel that not only should they be taking ALL of the challenging classes offered, but they should also be achieving straight A’s while they’re at it.  Those making these policy decisions seem to think they’re helping students by taking some of the pressure off.  But in reality, students no longer know what’s “good enough.”

No wonder we have teens and college students numbing out on hours of Netflix, social media, and other more harmful activities every day – it’s an escape!  They no longer feel the pressure to have perfect grades, extracurricular activities, AND a perfect Instagram feed if they’re deep into watching a third hour of The Office or getting high with their friends. 

I’m not a parent, but I did spend eight years in the classroom, four of those coaching soccer as well.  In my experience, students appreciate clear boundaries because they know exactly what’s expected of them.  To be sure, any time I gave an assignment, even with clear expectations set, I would get complaints.  Such is the fate of a math teacher.  But if, for whatever reason, the students were unsure what I was asking of them, the number of complaints I received skyrocketed!  If you try to remove boundaries for the sake of taking pressure off of them, the opposite actually happens – the girl that earned a 95 on her math test is wondering if she should take advantage of the retake option so she can try to earn a 100%; the boy who plays two sports and is the president of National Honor Society is wondering if he should add that sixth AP/Dual Enrollment class to his senior schedule, merely because the option is there. 

I remember hearing once about a study that was done where children and their caregivers were taken to two different fields – one with a clear fence line and one without.  When the kids were allowed to go roam and explore, they actually wandered farther away from their caregivers in the field with the fence line than the one without.  Boundaries aren’t there just to squash our fun; they help us to feel safe.  I think the same is true for the guidelines given to us in Scripture.  Over and over in Psalm 119, the author praises God for the rules He gives us, saying in verse 165, “Great peace have those who love your law; nothing can make them stumble.”  God isn’t just on a power trip.  He loves us and wants us to truly flourish by living within the boundaries He has set.