Yes, He is still good.

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about God being with us through trials, stemming from a video I’d watched with the huddle at Potomac Falls.  The video was of Mike Donehey, the lead singer or Tenth Avenue North, talking about the inspiration for their new song, “I have This Hope.”  I had no idea at the time that in just a few weeks I would be clinging to this song and the passage of scripture on which it is based, Isaiah 43:1-4, for comfort myself.
On Friday, June 16 at 5:24pm, I received a phone call that I will never forget. On the other end was Anna, who was in the high school small group I led for four years.  Anna, whose family had become like my second family here in Loudoun.  Anna, the oldest of four, was telling me I needed to come over because her younger brother was dead. .  Sam Gustavus’s smile could light up an entire room.  He was so full of life, always on the move, and always making people laugh.  Anyone who has been to my house knows my main living area has vaulted ceilings with a decorative ledge about 10 feet up.  Sam once climbed up there.  He also once scaled the brick facade of his house up the second story.  He was fearless.  Throughout the past week or so, there have been lots of tears and questions.  Why Sam?  Why like this?  Why now?  It would be so easy to doubt God’s goodness in a time like this.  But friends, scripture tells us over and over that He is still good.  He is with us and will never leave us.  He is still in control.  He is the Bread of Life and He will supply us with the strength we need day by day.  We just have to continually go back to the source. 

I first met Sam’s older sister, Anna, almost five years ago when I started volunteering as a small group leader in the youth group at my church.  We hit it off right away as we bonded over our love of soccer, running, and country music.  We’ve shared our common struggles over perfectionist striving and trusting God’s plan.  Over the past several years our relationship has grown from small group leader, to mentor/mentee, to friends.  For five years, we’ve been a part of each other’s lives.  We've had dinner in each other's homes. We've run 10K's and gone on mission trips together.  I've gone camping and to Nat’s games with her family.  She was the photographer at my older sister's baby shower.  I love this girl something fierce!  At Sam’s viewing last Thursday, I held Anna’s hand as I walked into the funeral home to view Sam’s lifeless body for the first time.  We cried and stood embracing for quite a while, a huge feat in and of itself since neither of us are big huggers, before she left to go sit with her parents for a while.  Another close family friend came over to me, gave me a hug and whispered, “You are amazing, and I love you.  You are not equipped to carry this burden for her on your own, but God will give you the strength you need.”  Oh how I needed those words!  As much as I wish I could be, I am not enough.  Not enough to carry this for her; not enough to take away this incredible pain.  But the God we worship will carry her through this storm.  Isn't that the point of the gospel, anyway?  We are not enough, but thank God He is!

I do not understand why this amazing family has been forced to go through this incredible pain.  But I have already seen so many ways that God has been at work in this situation.  I know the strength and peace Sam’s family has shown over the past ten days can only be from their faith in Jesus Christ, because no one is that strong on his or her own.  They are determined to use this tragedy to share the gospel with as many people as they possibly can and I know that lives will be changed and hearts won for the Kingdom as a result.  

I have this hope

In the depth of my soul

In the flood or the fire

You're with me and You won't let go

-Tenth Avenue North

And in the midst of sorrow, my friends, He is still good. 

You will be so very missed, my goofy, photo bombing friend!